General Hospital Two Scoops | 2006

General Hospital opinion columns from 2006

Love a storyline? Want to throw the remote at the screen during others? Our Two Scoops columnists feel the same way. Each week, they provide their own commentary on the action in the Two Scoops column.

Every week, our Two Scoops columnists share their thoughts and opinions in the Two Scoops commentary columns. Those columns are archived to allow fans a chance to make sure that they've read every opinion for every week. This archive features columns written about General Hospital in the calendar year.

To access columns from other years or to review columns for other soaps, please see the Related Information links at the bottom of this page to access a specific year. Or to view a listing of all years for which columns are available, simply click here.

January 2, 2006

It's not my fault

If there were a drinking game where you downed your beer every time Alexis said "It's not my fault.", you could be totally tanked by the end of one episode of GH

January 9, 2006

Skating on thin ice

Emily is way better at being drunk than I ever was.

January 16, 2006

I'm no good for you

Often times we sabotage ourselves, do we not? We come up with excuses why a thing won't work and convince ourselves the reasons we made up in our head are true

January 23, 2006

Miracle grow

About 3 weeks ago on New Year's Eve, Courtney was in a slinky little holiday dress, without even an almond size lump of baby showing. Suddenly her baby is now the size of a prize winning watermelon at any State Fair USA

January 30, 2006

And so it begins...

Shrunken heads, poison darts, chimpanzees, jungle infernos and at long last, our still dashingly handsome but presumed dead hero Robert Scorpio has appeared.

February 6, 2006

Reunited, and it feels so good...

My all-time favorite super couple is back together and I am downright giddy. Have any two people on GH ever had more chemistry than Robert Scorpio and Luke Spencer?

February 13, 2006

Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news (I got a bad case of lovin' you)

The whole town has been brought to its' knees by the virus, and Lucas Lorenzo Spencer's blood is the only hope for their survival.

February 20, 2006

Missing whiskers and other inconsistencies

Sonny and Nikolas shared a hospital room. Nikolas had 3 days growth of whiskers on his face, and wildly tousled hair, while Sonny didn't even have 5 O'clock shadow.

February 27, 2006

A woman scorned

Clearly, GH is written by men. I know this because no woman who isn't named Cruella would let a hospital full of innocents die to make money.

March 6, 2006

Trail of broken hearts

The trail of broken hearts was scattered with feet this week on G.H. as we mourned the losses of Tony, Courtney, and Danny.

March 13, 2006

It's not my fault

Sam came to town as a clever con woman trying to win the Dead Man's hand away from Jax (one of the lamest plotlines ever, IMHO) but she was bright and sassy and not to be toyed with.

March 20, 2006

Ebony and ivory

Okay, we get it. Sonny is bad, dark, ominous, and dresses all in black. Emily is sweetness, innocence and light...

March 27, 2006

The sweater song

Due to circumstances beyond her control, Tamilu was unable to provide a new column this week. In its place is an encore column from one year ago this week

April 3, 2006

Suds in a bucket

Suds in a bucket along with Manny's creepy tattooed head in the middle of a hospital corridor and no one happened to notice but Skye.

April 10, 2006

Disneyworld in a 3-piece suit

Hey Jax! Buy some shorts. Take your private jet over to Payless and buy some damned sneakers.

April 17, 2006

Weekend at Bernie's

I looked at my TV screen this week and said out loud, 'Isn't that Benny, and didn't Benny DIE?

April 24, 2006

Life's unexpected surprises

I want to report that Jason Thompson is as dreamy in person as he is on screen. But more important than his dashing good looks, you should know that he was genuinely nice.

May 1, 2006

Mystery date

Carly's charity event is possibly the strangest Bachelor Auction on record.

May 8, 2006

Ten rounds with Jose Cuervo

I dig tequila. Mind you, I work at a church, and my Dad was a pastor and most people I associate with frown on booze, but I say again, I dig tequila.

May 15, 2006

Everybody uses everybody

Amazingly, Lulu must have had a passport on hand, although I don't think she's ever been anywhere but at Grandma Lesley's house, and somehow she got some adult guardian to sign for her to leave the country unattended.

May 22, 2006

I love the 80's

Anna Devane Scorpio certainly DOES live up to her hype, I must agree with Luke.

May 29, 2006

Tragic miscalculations

Things never work out the way we plan.

June 5, 2006

Queer eye for the straight guy

'I told him I wanted an HERB garden and he put in a ROSE garden! I can't crush rose petals in my spaghetti sauce!'

June 12, 2006

Take me out to the ballgame, Lily

Sonny is drifting in and out of reality and it's beginning to frighten Emily (or Lily if you prefer) more every minute

June 19, 2006

Nanny McFreak

After Nikolas interviewed about a dozen psychotic Nannies', he stumbled upon a candidate who seemed practically perfect in every way, but she sure wasn't Mary Poppins.

June 26, 2006

Fruit forward

Sonny probably wished he hadn't broken that bottle, as he could have used it to toast the memory of our poor departed Justus Ward.

July 3, 2006

Blondes have more fun?

I finally figured it out. The reason Laura won't come out of her catatonic state is because the sicko nurses at Shadybrook or Ferncliff, or Roselawn, or whichever mental hospital she is in, are dyeing her hair the wrong color.

July 10, 2006

What hurts the most...

Sam did everything in her power to love Jason well. She gave her soul to him without reservation, but in the end, all of her love and devotion, her adoration, her loyalty, the dreams, and passion - they just weren't enough.

July 17, 2006

The late, great Anna Lee

I have watched Anna Lee on GH for 20 years, and losing her was painful, like someone I actually knew had died. It wrecked me. I felt a sense of loss.

July 24, 2006

Love, interrupted

Define the word "couple." Doesn't it imply there are only *2* people involved? Two.

July 31, 2006

Ups and downs

If I lived in Port Charles, I would never take an elevator.

August 7, 2006

Snow White

Good heavens, Colleen, here it is August and you are whiter than Casper the Friendly Ghost

August 14, 2006

You're no good, you're no good, you're no good (Baby, you're no good)

Maxie is a skanky ho. I tried to think of a nice way to say it- a way that wouldn't sound so vulgar and would make use of my vocabulary which contains actual multi-syllabic words.

August 21, 2006

At Last

Some of you have asked if I think Liz is as bad as Maxie for cheating on Lucky. No, I absolutely don't.

August 28, 2006

Recalled!

In the news this week, a gazillion laptop batteries are being recalled, and now apparently, a batch of substandard ELQ condoms, too.

September 4, 2006

Chivalry is dead

Attn all ladies: If a man who is supposedly in love with you flies to the other side of the world and then sits there waiting while your heart bleeds 'just to see if you'll come after him.', kick him to the curb.

September 11, 2006

Daddies and daughters

The voices swirling around in Lulu's head are maddening and she has lost the ability to hear her own voice or feel her own heart beating in her chest and the one person she needed finally waltzed back into town - her Daddy.

September 18, 2006

Are all butlers named Alfred?

Batman's butler was named Alfred. Nikolas' butler is named Alfred. I have a cousin named Alfred, but he isn't a butler and you can call him Al.

September 25, 2006

Never ending story...

Okay, already. I'm saying "UNCLE". I get it. Lucky can't stop taking pills.

October 2, 2006

Random...

Hey Lulu, do you want some French toast? 'Why are you asking me that? Is it because I had an abortion?'

October 9, 2006

Sterling qualities?

Jason doesn't have to worry about Lucky trying to frame him this week; instead he has to worry about whether or not he's a Daddy.

October 16, 2006

Listen, do you wanna know a secret?

Liz can't seem to stop telling everyone about her Big Scary Secret while constantly uttering the key phrase 'Lucky can never find out!' Well then stop telling everyone in town you ninny!

October 23, 2006

Hiring for dummies

Do you think Prince Charles hired a Nanny for Prince Harry or Prince William WITHOUT CHECKING THEIR REFERENCES???

October 30, 2006

Damn the odds

I love Luke Spencer. I know in my head that he is a fictional character, but my heart loves him as if he were real.

November 6, 2006

Mimosas in November

Liz was visiting Lucky at rehab outside in the courtyard with her t-shirt on and her teeth weren't even chattering.

November 13, 2006

Grading on the curve

The bar has been raised. Now that Genie Francis is back in action, and we see the level of emotion and depth she wrings out of every scene, do you realize how little we have settled for without her?

November 20, 2006

Reruns 'R' Us

Everyone was amazed at the miracle and then KABOOM, the treatment wore off ...

November 27, 2006

Think of Laura...

Is this really the end of Luke and Laura?

December 4, 2006

Master of disguise?

Sam is such a bonehead. Let's lay out the facts; she is out on bail, released to her poor sick Mother who is counting on her to make wise choices.

December 11, 2006

The hand that rocks the cradle

On the up side, Nikolas and Emily have reunited.