And there it was, Scoopers. Just like the end of an episode of Smokey and the Bandit, The Dukes of Hazard, The A-Team -- or any other feel-good action-adventure show from the seventies and eighties -- the hit-and-run storyline ended with all the chips mysteriously falling into place, a super impossible chase scene, and the good guys chuckling on the sidelines as the loving couple basked in yet another happily ever after. I almost expected Thomas' eye to twinkle when he winked at them.
For those of us who could keep our lunches down, we cried hallelujah for the end of this story arc, and we didn't even care how many loose ends it left dangling. It's over, and in a B&B rarity, some people actually received plea deals for their charges. Liam and Bill got time served, fines, and their licenses revoked. Someone want to remind Bill of that before the next carpool?
After Hope's bionic woman sprint to catch Liam's transport van, Hope and Liam left to enjoy each other and their kids. Bill spent quality time with Katie and Will. But what was Thomas doing with that time? Sitting in the shipping department with Manne-Hope, I guess, because he sure as heck wasn't with his son. In fact, he never mentioned Douglas the whole time he was caged. I hope Douglas isn't still calling and texting his daddy, to no avail. Thomas, stop basking in your redemption and go see your son!
Yes, y'all. Thomas is redeemed, whether you like it or not. With endorsements from Brooke, Wyatt, Katie, and Bill, it's official. He is free to live aboveground with other upright-walking citizens like Flo, who paid for her redemption in body parts. Quinn and Carter, on the other hand, with their ever-devolving integrity, should be slithering on their bellies. Undoubtedly, they will be slithering on each other once all their clothes are off.
It's true, the contrite Quinn and Carter, who swore their intimacy had been a mistake and that they love and respect Eric so much, are right back to slobbering all over each other like Carter's job doesn't depend on them refraining from it. But they aren't the only sorry ones proving how not sorry they are by doubling down on their betrayal.
After the gut-wrenching breakup of Bustin, Justin takes "not letting grass grow" beneath his apology to a new level by sealing an alliance with Ridge with Bill's sword necklace. There's no use crying over best friendships when there's a prison term to avoid.
Let's get two scoops deep into whether Eric's decision to give Carter a second chance is biting him in the butt or if Eric was clever like a fox for setting Carter up for failure. Bill might actually love Justin enough to forgive him, but will the sight of Bill's old relic in Ridge's possession be enough to unearth the old Dollar Bill that everyone hoped would remain buried?
Another portrait bites the dust at Eric's house, as Eric commanded his wife's lover to take her with him -- well, her portrait anyway. I had hoped Donna or Brooke -- or even Pam -- would have the honor of removing Quinn from the wall the moment the front door smacked Quinn's behind into the driveway. This makes the fourth portrait created for that wall and the third unworthy. Eric is better off putting up a portrait of himself, the only person he can truly trust.
Eric didn't care what Carter did with Quinn's portrait, but I doubt he imagined that Carter would take it home to worship every night like the simp Quinn has turned him into. Not 24 hours after Carter promised he wouldn't let Eric down, Carter is already lips-deep in some Quinn. Carter couldn't even make it to work on time, and at this rate, Eric will probably stroll into Carter's unlocked loft and see Quinn's bra and panties draped over her portrait. A fitting sight for a disgraced matriarch.
Was Eric a fool for giving Carter a second chance or wise like a fox? Eric should have known better than to give the infected Carter a chance before the delousing period ended, but at least Eric gave Carter plenty of banana peel to trip himself on. Carter has already tripped and landed right on top of Quinn -- again. In my view, Eric was clever to give Carter this ultimatum because it will enable Eric to fire Carter with a clean conscience and to know without a doubt that Quinn was a sleazy liar at the altar during the renewal ceremony.
Some think Eric has no right to tell Carter who to sleep with, but, yeah, Eric kind of does if it's Eric's wife, which Quinn still is, and if Carter is Eric's employee, which Carter apparently wants to be. It's humiliating enough as it is to go through a six-month divorce process without your wife banging your lawyer. Is it even ethical? If Carter does not agree, all Carter has to do is quit. Carter made this bed by his agreement, and now he will hopefully get disbarred in it once he proves he isn't the innocent, mousy victim of Quinn's his loved ones make him out to be.
Carter will learn the hard way, like the other men in Quinn's past, that Quinn doesn't love anyone but herself and sex. When she was young, it was all about swinger parties, then she was obsessed with sexing Bill all the time and sexing Deacon all the time. As for her selfishness, she even said how unfair it was that she couldn't be "friends" with Carter when she needed him. Quinn, meet consequences. In the middle of a divorce, you shouldn't be seeking out your friends with benefits to meet your nasty needs, anyway.
But Quinn does it, anyway, because she has no respect for herself, her marriage, her husband, or the family she so desperately wanted to lord over as matriarch. She claims, too, that she doesn't want to blow up all that Carter's built, but there she was in her string-pull-release dress, getting her itch scratched. Eric never meant anything to her if she can be over at Carter's house, trolling for him to jump her bones. And no one believes that bit about her needing a lawyer, so she can keep that lie. She was lifting her tail so much, her whole dress swayed.
It's tragic that Carter would ruin his life for a sex-crazed lunatic who has decimated every man she's been with -- except Bill Spencer. And that's because, as evidenced by Justin this week, the only people that can decimate Bill are the people Bill loves.
Quinn isn't pining for Eric because one has to have a heart to be heartbroken. Bill, however, proved that he does indeed have a heart, and Justin broke it. In an emotionally riveting scene, Bustin, a solid friendship for decades, came to a tearful end when Bill learned that Justin had intended to leave Liam and Bill in jail to effectuate a coup of Spencer Publications.
It all sounds so dumb now when you hear it yelled back at you in Bill's uncompromising baritone. Bill plainly pointed out that Justin was his best friend, his right-hand, his brother, and that meant Bill would give Justin almost anything -- almost. The company belonged to Bill's family, and that was where it would rightfully stay.
I understand how Bill feels about Justin. I had a friend who was an only child. We met in our twenties, and for years, she constantly called some woman who lived in another city, hours from us, her best friend; however, she and I hung out together constantly, every day, all day. I felt some type of way about her always calling this person her best friend, and one day, I asked, what about me? What am I? Stunned, she told me I was her sister, the one she'd never had. So, I get Justin not realizing what he means to Bill, but I also get Bill putting Justin in his place.
Wyatt might be right. Justin might have bumped his head and lost his mind to come up with this sloppy scheme. The only reason it got so far was that clueless Wyatt has minivans and Flo's legs dancing around in his head.
Another person I agreed with this week was Katie. She could see the hurt within Bill, cowering behind his rage, and she asked him if he was sure he couldn't find healing or forgiveness. Bill claims that he won't do it. He never wants to see Justin again -- for now anyway. Like Katie, I think Bill will come around, but by the time he does, it will be too late because Justin has stolen his soul from the devil and sold it to a fashion demon.
When speaking to Bill, Justin claimed he lost his way, but he's back. Back up to no good, judging by how easily he went to Ridge and sold Bill out without giving Bill a chance to even absorb what Justin had done. But time is not a luxury with an arrest imminent. To keep himself out of prison, Justin pledged to be essentially Ridge's right-hand man. To seal the deal, he offered Ridge the sword necklace Dollar Bill used to wear. Can you imagine the nose-flaring, Stallion-bucking, snorting anger Bill will project if Ridge walks into Bill's office, sporting the necklace? If Justin has any hope of reviving his relationship with Bill, he'd better get that necklace back before the very sight of it turns Bill back to the dark side for good.
If you recall, Bill gave his sword necklace to Brooke back in October 2018 after Ridge tossed Bill over his balcony. Bill had sworn to renounce all things the necklace represented. Ridge took the necklace from Brooke's purse and hammered the charm to pieces. It broke really easily, too, and that's probably because it wasn't the genuine sword necklace to begin with.
If I recall correctly, years before this, Ivy made Wyatt a new sword necklace. Katie used that design to commission a new sword necklace for Bill. Bill, in turn, made a new one for Liam. What happened to Bill's old one? I think it's the one Justin just handed Ridge -- the one Quinn made for Bill all those years ago. I wouldn't doubt for a minute she trapped the essence of some demon in it along with Bill's, and when Bill lays eyes on that thing, the old lying, scheming, cutthroat Dollar Bill will return worse than we can ever imagine.
Ridge might think he has the upper hand on Bill now, but he'd better remember his own famous last words this week when Thomas asked if they could trust Justin, and Ridge quipped, "No, you can't trust him! It's Justin!" Ridge also better keep that sword out of sight from Brooke. She knows that's Bill's necklace and not a kinky sex prop. Would she warn Bill if she discovers it in Ridge's belongings? I don't think the summer is cooling off, folks. Bill versus Ridge, Thomas, and Justin will set our televisions ablaze.
Thank you, Don Diamont (Bill) and Aaron Spears (Justin), for delivering emotional, gut-wrenching performances that show us how even the toughest men can be moved to tears, and forgiveness will not come as easily as Eric doles it out to Carter. I have a feeling that there will be blood. Please make up! I love my Bustin!
Brooke and Quinn's talk was kind of boring. For as long as I've waited for Brooke to give Quinn a blasting Stephanie could be proud of, the one Brooke delivered was kind of tame and boring. It didn't help that Quinn was unrepentant and still blamed Brooke for Quinn's own mistakes.
Quinn did say one thing that resonated with me. She told Brooke that she would prefer Eric be alone than be with Quinn. Hell, yeah. Duh. Of course. Shauna might even prefer Eric to be alone than with Quinn. The least Brooke could have done was bring Donna over to replace Quinn, as Quinn has so thoughtfully tried to inject Shauna in Ridge's life to replace Brooke.
Where is Donna, anyway? She did all this crying over Eric and isn't anywhere to be found now that he has kicked the wicked witch out of the mansion.
Offscreen chastisement sucks. Also rather boring were Carter and Quinn's tête-à-têtes with Zoe. They happened off-screen, and we only heard about them through Carter and Quinn's narcissistic filters. Apparently, Zoe didn't know Carter could be the type of man to sleep with the boss's wife, and Zoe admonished Quinn for hurting Eric.
Okay...but your friend whom you sent to advocate for you instead stole your man, Zoe. You know what? Never mind. You just work on turning that American accent into a French one. Au revoir.
So we're marrying ourselves now? Finn tried to spring a pop-up wedding in Steffy's living room with all the frills an undecorated living room has to offer. Oh, great. They can honeymoon there, too, with the kids. How...boring. Steffy's hesitating to commit, and I have a feeling she's not going to go through with the ceremony, even if it is just a symbolic one.
Somebody get your boy Finn and tell him that sitting on the sofa, saying vows in the afternoon ain't our girl's style. She's used to riding in on motorcycles, swinging from trapezes, strolling down a beautiful beach, or wearing creepy veils on Ajax Mountain. Spark it up, Finn. I think watching you fold clothes was more thrilling than your impromptu wedding. Oh, yeah, and give Hayes his striped shirt back!
Bill volunteers for the carpool again. I get that the writers think it's endearing to make jokes about Bill doing ordinary things, but don't make the same joke twice. This week, Bill asked Katie to put him on Will's schedule for games, playdates, and carpooling. Katie was surprised, and Bill asked if Katie didn't think he could get in the carpool just like any regular dad.
Of course, Katie knows Bill can get in the carpool like any regular dad because Bill actually has gotten in the carpool like any regular dad. Bill volunteered for it before, and Bill made statements that doing small things like that made him the most proud of being a dad.
So, joking around about Bill being in the carpool was a miss, but what would have been a hit is a joke about how he can't do carpool because the judge took his driver's license. Or maybe asking what car he'd use, since his other car is senselessly halfway around the world for no reason. Or a joke about Bill trusting anyone to drive him around after Liam, serving as Bill's driver, hit Vinny. No? Too soon for car jokes? I'm here all week. Just let me know when.
Quinn and Carter can't hold back the lust. No surprises there. It's actually getting rather predictable with these two. Their conversations are quite the formality because it's obvious all they want to do is have sex -- just like Quinn and Deacon, and Quinn and Bill, and Quinn and "Adam." Carter and Quinn try to figure out how to be around each other, because, of course, sex is worth risking it all.
Eric is surprised by Quinn's stance on the divorce. I'm surprised Quinn has a stance, since Eric has a prenup. Oh, don't tell me. The writers forgot about it. Maybe Quinn's only divorce demand is that she gets custody of their lawyer.
Finn's father arrives in town for a surprise visit. Yay, another pair of hands for laundry-folding!
Thanks for scooping with me this week. Please place your comments and impressions of the week in the comments section below, and until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!
Chanel
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