Happy New Year, DAYS fans! We enjoyed a tale of two years in 2017. Having a writer change in July meant the year was pretty much cut in half for us -- before Ron and after Ron. Guess which half we enjoyed more? *wink*
In case you missed it, we did leave a lovely present for the nice boys and girls under the Soap Central tree last week. Check out the Golden Donuts: The Best of DAYS 2017 here. But enough of the cheer. Let's grab a drink and get down to the dirty work.
Laurisa: Ciara Brady
Her first act upon returning to Salem was to commit grand theft auto by stealing Bo's motorcycle. Then, she rode into the Horton square (seriously, how'd she get that thing inside?) to rewrite history to Claire's face. Finally, she ran into Hope and wasted no time mouthing off to the mom who's done nothing but love this insufferable twit. That was maybe her first twelve hours in Salem. Guhhh-raaaaate.
I know the goal of having her come to town with an attitude and a leather jacket was to give a nod to Hope and Bo. But the chip on her shoulder and misplaced sense of injustice has way more in common with her Kiriakis cousins Brady and Sonny right now than with either of her parents. Cool hair though.
Tony: Scooter
First of all, his name was Scooter. Scooter. Yep. Scooter. And, nope... he wasn't made of felt. It's almost like Higley and company had simply given up by that point and picked the name after stumbling upon an airing of The Muppets Take Manhattan. No, really. It was Scooter. But anyways...
This character's debut was heralded by his wife, Hillary. We'll get to her in a minute. She went on and on and on about her husband. Many viewers, like myself, thought, "Who could this mystery man be!? Intrigue!" After many scenes building up to his introduction, the door finally opened and, boom! He turned out to be no one we'd ever heard of. Ever. And his name was Scooter. Scooter. And Good Old Scoots was a sexual predator whose forte was child porn, and he tried to blackmail Nicole into a "Misty Circle" encore performance with him. Friggin' bloody hell, Higs.
Laurisa: Jade Michaels
This gal was a walking bad idea from the start and inexplicably captivated both Joey and Tripp. But worse, DAYS gave her way too much power over Steve and Kayla. It took Stayla 48 hours to neutralize Kate, yet Jade had the upper hand with them for months. That never checked out. Bringing on her jerk of a dad to try to make audiences empathize with her didn't work either. When a character is this flat, we tend not to care when things -- good or bad -- happen to them.
Tony: Hillary
DAYS snagged Jennifer Landon -- three-time consecutive Emmy award winner and Hollywood royalty. Awesome! I was excited. Jennifer is great. And then we met Hillary, who was not so awesome. Hillary had the sunny disposition of Debbie Downer. The cluelessness of Rose Nylund. She showed up on Brady and Nicole's doorstep all the time and overstayed her welcome like Steve Urkel. Yep, she was a cross of all those characters, but without any of the charm. Instead, Hillary was basically an annoyingly needy next-door neighbor who didn't seem to be that great at her job (a police offer) as she couldn't smell the shadiness dripping from Brady and Nicole's ruse. She was more upset that her skeevy husband might be cheating than anything else going on around her. Of course, we'll touch on how Hillary's story wretchedly ended later, but her guest stint was, ugh, not awesome. At all.
Laurisa: Jack Deveraux
This one's easy. The reason he's the "worst" is because he's not back from the dead and paired with Jennifer permanently. Jack's brief return turned a white-hot spotlight on the missing puzzle piece in the Deveraux clan. He compliments Jennifer perfectly and grounds J.J. while still letting him be himself. Additionally, it's downright criminal not to have Matt Ashford's flawless chemistry with Missy Reeves on display for all us DAYS fans to witness and adore. #BringBackJack
Tony: Sonny Kiriakis
This Care Bare is typically, well, sunny! Not so much last year. He made a lot of wonky choices and wore out his entire "Pick me, Uncle Vic!" shtick when gunning for the Titan CEO position. Like that dude would not shut up about it and often came across like Scrappy-Doo. Sure, you're totally rough and tumble, Sonny. Sure. Sure, you are. But that's not all! Sonny was a royal, insensitive cranky pants to Paul during said gunning for the Titan CEO position. Why Paul didn't leave him then is a testament to how much Paul loved him. And let's not forget how uncharacteristically Sonny behaved toward Paul when it was believed, and later confirmed, that Will was not so dead. He dumped Paul faster than it takes to get a car insurance quote. Like, you spent more time reading this sentence than their breakup scene took to play out. Ouch. Still, while Paul might be in pain, he might eventually look back with a "bullet dodged" feeling. Let's hope for sunnier Sonny days ahead in the new year.
Laurisa: Jen asking Abe to forgive J.J. the first time
I get Jennifer wanting to protect her son. In fact, if that's the stance she went in there with, I think I would have respected her more for it. But instead, her move to absolve J.J. cloaked in this concern for Theo was off-putting and inappropriate. Abe didn't even know if his son would live or die, yet Jenny Bear appeared to plead J.J.'s case to Abe. That's a Sami move. That's not a Jennifer move. Contrast this scene with the one weeks later where things had settled just a bit and she could appeal to Abe's past as a police officer. That one, free of phony-feeling sympathy for Theo, was way more appropriate and effective.
Tony: Adrienne's Loved Ones
Hattie impersonating Marlena was one thing. Hattie had been sculpted by Stefano and Dr. Rolf to look like Marlena. It was still a stretch, but I could bite for a minute. Bonnie, on the other hand, had nothing -- not a thing -- to do with Adrienne. Nope. Not in the very least. So, when bougie Bonnie replaced Adrienne, it made her family and friends look like Grade A chumps. Oh, and this wasn't amateur hour. We're talking the likes of Justin, Maggie, Victor, Sonny, Lucas, and so on. The excuses that were used to explain why Adrienne was acting peculiarly were absurd and only added to the diminished capacity feeling of those who loved her. Even more mind boggling, the bulk of Bonnie's storyline played out after Hattie was exposed for impersonating Mar Mar . Guh. Morons. The lot of them. That storyline was exasperating. Thank the soap gods for Kayla and Steve figuring it out!
Laurisa: Lani Price
For some reason, I can't quite connect with her as a part of the Carver clan. They're a tight bunch. They've been through death and life-changing diagnoses together. Without her. While Sal Stowers is perfectly pleasant, Lani just seems like an afterthought anytime there's a Carver scene. Val feels more like part of the family than Lani, due to the amount of heavy scenes she's had with Abe.
Second, and more importantly, you know that saying "one time it's a mistake, the second time it's a choice?" Yeah, that's where I'm at with Lani's doe-eyed innocent act. Sure, she can rationalize her behavior each time. But when she arrived in Salem, she staged a fake stakeout in hopes that Shawn would give her some lovin'. Then she took a post-coital selfie with a blacked out (and very much romantically involved) J.J. Then she jumped in the sack with Eli approximately four minutes after she saw J.J. hugging another woman. There's a massive character discrepancy in Lani's words and actions that Ron needs to fix right away, if not sooner, especially when it comes to Lani looking a little bit like a pseudo-sexual predator.
Tony: Wyatt is a wanker
One thing most can agree on regarding Ciara is that her rape was heinous, and it was a rather desperate plot point penned solely for shock value rather than an ongoing story of survival and recovery from a brutal crime. Instead, Ciara was barely shown recovering, she had to deal with/care for her attacker afterwards, and her ordeal was pretty much reduced to well-meaning characters quipping, "...after what Ciara's been through," with a sad face. But that was then. In 2017...
Wyatt showed up. "After all Ciara's been through," I was rooting for Bope's "Doodlebug" to experience some happiness. Wyatt seemed charming. We also learned Vivian Jovanni (ex-Ciara) was leaving the show. Yep, this is the perfect time for Ciara to find a nice guy and ride (or better yet -- sail!) off into the sunset for a minute. And you know what? Ciara did find happiness. For, like, a minute.
We quickly learned Wyatt was a manipulative moocher who took advantage of Ciara, but he wasn't working alone. Nope. Theo (with good intentions, but still...) set the entire wheel in motion by feeding Wyatt intel about Ciara. A cyber Cyrano de Bergerac, if you will. It got out of hand, but Theo's hands were nevertheless dirty despite his intentions. Perfect, guys. Because what a victim really needs in their life is another reason not to trust men, especially her best friend. Great thinking, DAYS. At least Ciara had a great friend defending her, who really gave it to Wyatt. Claire tore into him so hard that Wyatt is still probably afraid of petite blondes. I'm glad Ciara still remembers that allegiance. Oh, wait...
Laurisa: Gabi getting kidnapped
I think the Salem PD could have solved a series of crimes if they'd only assigned someone to follow Gabi around to thwart attempts to abduct her. Hopefully Santa brought her some mace and a tracking device.
Tony: Wearisome double wedding planning
I thought Salemites blabbing about St. Dr. Daniel of Jonas toward the beginning of the year would lock this award for me...again. I totally did. Mercifully, the new head writers heard fans' groans and dialed the Dr. Dude worshipping WAY down. And thank you! But the new writers created a mess of their own. Tsk, tsk. While the double almost wedding led to an amazing storyline (hey, Will!), the time leading up to it was a repetitious bore for Sonny, Paul, Chad, and Abigail.
This quartet had the exact same scene for months, though in different locations to make it seem special. Sure, at first, talk of a happy occasion was a welcomed relief from all the Higley-induced misery, but their wedding chatter became especially annoying since: one, it was irritatingly redundant; two, other storylines zoomed past the quartet as they casually cruised along in the slow lane, hitting repeat on their dialogue; and three, Abigail had just sold out Sonny so that Chad could remain a free man. As much as they talked about their shared experience, they never once mentioned that last one. Huh. Funny.
Laurisa: Brady Black
Eric Martsolf is one of the best in the genre. Unfortunately, the transition into Darth Brady was so clunky, it felt like I was riding with someone learning how to drive stick. Yes, Nicole did Brady wrong, but what he did to Nicole -- not to mention Maggie and Parker by banning Holly from Salem -- was so cruel, Sami would have told Brady to tone that noise down. Since then, he's been misplacing his son, getting into petulant fights with Sonny, and not running his store in Canada. He's also maybe an alcoholic again? And maybe having immediate feelings for Eve? It all just makes me shake my head.
Tony: Andre DiMera
DAYS had some spectacular guest villains in 2017, but I still feel we're lacking a solid scoundrel with permanent Salem residency. That wily wrongdoer could easily be -- should easily be -- Andre, but his "reformed" stature just doesn't hold the same hype as the guy who created an island replica of Salem just to torture his enemies. A guy who at one time could make the Joker quip, "Man! You're insane." To sand down Andre's sinister side is basically reducing him to a time before he was even just a jilted cousin replacing Tony and trying to get a gold star of approval from Stefano. Now, Stefano would barely recognize him. For shame, Andre. Evil up!
Laurisa: Bonnie Lockhart
The fabulous Judi Evans committed 100 percent to this role, and I give her all the credit in the world for that. But, ooof, even thinking about Bonnie causes me to make this face. Everything about Bonnie was 1-800-TOO-MUCH, including her screen time. She was fine for comic relief here and there, but once Angelica was killed off, there was no need for Bonnie anymore. This nonsense about her wanting revenge on Maggie cherry-picked convenient Bonnie characteristics so that this storyline could stand up, while ignoring Bonnie's history as a whole. Then, they kept beating the dead horse over and over, making usually smart characters (Victor, Maggie, and Justin) look stupid. I will forever be grateful to Steve and Kayla for figuring this out and stopping this mess!
Tony: Commissioner Raines
Growling in his best Batman voice at times and brilliantly dubbed "Purple Raines" by Laurisa, this guy had so much going for him until, well, he didn't. Aaron D. Spears is a gifted actor. He had the no-nonsense shtick down cold but was also starting to show some thawing in Raines, too. Raines seemed awfully smitten with Abigail at one point. That added depth. The commissioner was even somewhat of a moral compass at first, as he firmly followed the letter of the law. Fans needed that stance as we saw Joey kill Ava and the cover-up, Hope "kill" Stefano, Rafe help Hope drag Stefano's body around Salem and dump it amongst garbage (and that cover-up, too), and all the other general despair caused by our once rootable heroes. And then Purple Raines was tossed under the bus as a scapegoat. It was a massive letdown that tied up some loose ends, but still. Boo. He had such potential until, well, he didn't.
Laurisa: Ciara blames Claire for Theo's shooting
Ciara bulldozed her way to Theo's bedside -- you know, the guy she loved so much that she couldn't be bothered to so much as text since she's been gone -- to declare his shooting was Claire's fault, because if Ciara were his boo, she'd have a tracking device/shock collar on him at all times to monitor his every move. Yeah, not only was she ridiculous, but that moment set off a complete history rewrite in order to support this self-centered chick's new attitude.
I don't recall Claire's sixteen boyfriends her senior year in high school -- especially considering Claire went to prom with her gay bestie, Henry. Yet I distinctly remember both Theo and Chase (before he was a total creep) showering Ciara with adoration while she ignored them both to get Chad's attention. I also recall Claire asking Ciara's permission to go after Theo, which Ciara granted. And I could have sworn someone looking just like Ciara promised Claire she wouldn't interfere in Claire and Theo's relationship right before she wrote "the letter." Ugh.
Ciara and I should be on the same side. I don't think Claire and Theo are a good match, either. But this over-the-top harping about a past that didn't happen is like when some a-hole just yells louder at someone who can't speak English. Someone find the mute button on this gal!
Tony: Baby love rub
When Nicole placed Baby Holly on a dying Brady's chest and that little oracular loaf brought Brady back from the brink because Dr. Dude's heart beat again due to its proximity to Holly -- or, at least I think that's what that mess was supposed to be -- I totally slapped my forehead and exclaimed, "Are you kidding me with this #wordIcantuseinprint!?!" It was beyond ridiculous and schmaltzy. I was seriously waiting for the Salemites around Brady's bed to hold up Holly above their heads and start singing, "Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba, Sithi uhm ingonyama..." from The Lion King as the winds miraculously picked up in the room and St. Dr. Daniel of Jonas' smiling face materialized in the blowing fabric of Brady's hospital gown. That would have made the scene intentionally funny instead of accidentally hilarious and exasperating. Though I'm even sadder Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs didn't appear and command, "It rubs the baby on Brady's skin, or else we bring up Dr. Dan again," "Now it places the baby on the Brady," and, "Put the f-ing baby on the Brady!"
Laurisa: Paul Narita
Sonny treated Paul like absolute crap. What's worse, Sonny honestly wasn't trying to do so! He was just that oblivious to how much he dragged Paul around, which downright sucked for Paul. And yes, Paul was wrong to keep the truth about Will from Sonny for 24 hours. But let's assume Paul ran to Sonny immediately, complete with fire twirlers and a marching band to proclaim the good news that Will was alive. Would that have changed a single thing? Nope. Not for a hot second. So I can't get down with any of the "Paul is the bad guy" rhetoric here. He's literally the guy with the worst luck in the love department this year.
Tony: Hattie Adams
Aww. She never did get her Mr. Roman. *sigh*
Laurisa: Jennifer Horton and Eric Brady
Eric in a priest collar was ironic. It was always there as an obstacle for feisty Nicole. However, Eric drinking tea in a Mr. Rogers sweater with Jennifer is just a crime against nature. Then again, what else is he supposed to wear while exchanging friendship bracelets and playing Scrabble in grandma Horton's living room? Oh, lord, how I wish I was making up that last sentence. But alas, DAYS is doing its darnedest to neutralize all of Greg Vaughan's appeal to force Eric and Jennifer to seem like a good idea. Super.
Furthermore, Jennifer's already raised her kids! She doesn't need to be cleaning blood off Eric's hands and giving him pep talks about trying again. Lady has paid her dues. She needs a guy closer to her place in life with whom she can spoil grandkids and enjoy some new adventures.
Finally, their time has just flat-out passed. It's literally taken years for them to go out on a first date, which, paired with their utter lack of chemistry, makes this one of the most tedious couples I've seen in my decades watching DAYS. Their friendship is charming. But, this wannabe romance can fade back into the fog from which it came, and everyone will be the better for it.
Tony: Nicole Walker and Brady Black
Forced. Convenient. Quick. That sadly covers the love story between besties Brady and Nicole. And that's a huge miss for what could have been a fantastic coupling down the road. The fact is, Brady would have done what he did for best friend Nicole, and later, Nicole would have done what she did for best friend Brady. Their romantic relationship was gratuitous. It would have been much better suited to play out a little (read: "a lot") slower (if at all), as both had just been riding low on the Heartbreak Express. So while I could see Nicole and Brady as a couple "someday," and they did have a few endearing moments, I didn't need to see it at the time. From Canada to Nicole's exit, it simply ruined a once beautiful friendship.
Laurisa: Angelica's death
Much like its mistreatment of Jennifer Landon, DAYS didn't do much better by Morgan Fairchild either. Sure, the doppelgänger stuff made Angelica's plot a little silly. But Deidre Hall and Morgan were so fantastic together, I was downright shocked when DAYS killed Angelica off. Once more, Lucas and the Salem PD collectively gave a big shoulder shrug to the whole thing and "Oh, well!"-ed it right into the next storyline.
Tony: A complete strikeout
To be fair, Chad and Gabi have a legit history. Some of said history was messy. Y'all know which part. The entire almost blowing up Salem thingy that happened because of Gabi hiring a faux-turned-real stalker to mess with Melanie. Shockingly, that was addressed by Chad and Gabi one day while sitting on the DiMera sofa, and they moved forward. They also had nicer, real history, too. The Gabriela Rodriguez-Gabi had an innocent crush on the Casey Deidrick-Chad. They casually dated/casually attempted to date. So, why? Why, oh, why, oh, why did the then writers think it was a brilliant idea to fabricate flashbacks for the Billy Flynn-Chad and the Camila Banus-Gabi? Y'all know which flashbacks I'm talking about. Chad and Gabi's baseball bonding. Wowza. They hurt. For those on the fence about "Chabi," those ridiculous, unreal recollections brought any chance of their romance to a screeching halt because of the stupidity of it all. That's a shame because the groundball of two old friends, both single parents overcoming loss, would have been enough to round the bases of a genuine romantic relationship, but, nope, faux flashbacks worked, too. #notheydidnt
Laurisa: Nicole's exit
Tony brilliantly summed up Brady and Nicole's ill-conceived relationship. And you know my feelings about Ericole's criminally short reunion. But, the worst part of Nicole's exit was seeing Nicole leave town a broken women, the victim of abuse by a man she trusted. Talk about a character ending up exactly how she started. It's almost like our nearly two decades with Nicole meant nothing. All DAYS needed to have her do was choose to leave town so as to not come between two brothers, whom she both loved, and start her new life as a mom and an independent woman. Brady and Eric both would have still been devastated and could play out the exact same storylines they're in now. But Nicole could have left with some dignity. After all she's been through in Salem, she earned it.
Tony: *Honk, honk* Let's go, kids!
By the end of the Higley regime run, I didn't have high expectations for most storylines. By "most," I mean "any." So when we had a revisit of "Jungle Madness" during the Gilligan's Island plane crash/stranded storyline, it was good for a chuckle, an eye-roll, and a moment to reflect on Peter Blake's dimpled, deceptive deliciousness. It also wasn't like the stranded "Salem Seven" storyline was winning viewers, anyway, so why not add a little Jungle Madness to the messy mix? Sure. There was already a cursed amulet there. But -- BUT -- the end was so epically silly, I couldn't even stop myself from laughing. Simply put, John and Marlena casually -- like, super cas -- strolled onto the island, honked the horn of the private jet a few times, and yelled out the window, "Let's go, kids. We're running late for happy hour at the pub, and Mama Mar's buzz won't start itself." It was one of the most anticlimactic resolutions to an action storyline ever, especially to an ambitious storyline that was centered around Salem's next generation of adventurers.
Laurisa: Susan should have been Kristen all along
I still don't completely buy that Susan would be heartless enough to deny her own grandchildren their brother. I also don't buy Susan blaming Sami when mean, mean, mean Kristen and Stefano were both around when E.J. "died." I really don't buy Susan walking out on Edmund. Eileen Davidson played the hell out of the role. But, still. A Sami-hating kidnapper is right up Kristen's ally. Kristen would also enjoy the bonus of hurting the extended Sami family -- Marlena, John, and Brady -- by taking Will from them as well. The reveal that Kristen is still alive would have been all the more sweeter if she had been part of the story all along. Plus, had Will's kidnapper been Kristen from the start, it would have all but solidified an open-door policy for her to return at any time.
Tony: Anne Milbauer's Lucas love
Poor Anne. She lusted after Lucas for so long. They even had a cute moment or two at the pub. Bryan Dattilo and Meredith Scott Lynn played perfectly off one another. Sadly, Anne had horrible timing. Lucas was finally single and off the wagon. She could've had a beau and a drinking buddy, but Anne wasn't around. Though if Anne had been, it could have been interesting. Would she keep Lucas liquored up for selfish reasons, or would she attempt to sway him onto a healthier road to recovery? And if she had enabled him, would that finally lead to a legit beef between her and Jennifer? I guess we'll never know. What a waste.
Laurisa: Gabi/Chad/Abigail triangle
This whole thing kicked off with normally smart Chad and Abigail both behaving like dolts. First, Abigail willingly walked out on her husband and told him to move on with another woman on her way out the door. I'm not mad at her for not wanting to share Chad's admiration, but that move was a wee bit extreme. Maybe try couples therapy instead? Nope, instead she decided that the only thing she could do was enter into a Green Card marriage with a con man. Solid reasoning there, Abs. Good thinking.
For his part, Chad was pretty horrible to Gabi -- horrible in the sense that he knew he still loved Abigail, but he tried to make it work with Gabi. Gabbers repeatedly asked him (to be fair, because deep down she knew, too) if he was ready. He reassured her each and every time, which just made him look slimier than he really is and her more desperate than her fabulous self needed to be.
There was the weird moment when Chad scolded Gabi for dancing with J.J., but he totally married Abigail on Halo. No double standard there, Chadsworth. Glad we got to witness that.
Finally, after Chabby unsurprisingly reunited, there was the abysmal moment where Gabi was literally given a front row seat for their victory nuptials -- a move that was way more Cersi Lannister than Abigail Deveraux.
I adore Billy Flynn, Marci Miller, and Camila Banus. The instinct to have them hold up a generation on DAYS is the absolute right one. And Gabi and Abigial's class toward each other through this nonsense should be commended. But the whole thing was a colossal waste of time and didn't show any of them in their best light.
Tony: Oh, Canada. Oh, NO, no, no...
Knowing Arianne Zucker was leaving DAYS for about ten years before her last airdate made it a long march to the gallows for our beloved Nicole Walker. I'd wished for a happy ending for one of DAYS' most iconic characters. I really did. Then came Canada, and those wishes started to go down the drain faster than Brady can fall in love. Yep. If this was the beginning of the end to her story, I blame Canada for setting Nicole off down a horrible path (even more horrible than Deimos). Let's head north and see where it started to fall apart...
Scoots and Hills. That's where. They were the worst. Ever. It's sad how much precious "Nicole's time left" was wasted on -- I want to say developing their characters, but that's not really accurate -- more like, time wasted on introducing those soul-sucking weirdos. They were horribly unneeded and vexing. But...
Scoots and Hills' storyline wrapped up rather nicely. Oh. Wait. I said "nicely." I meant "disgustingly." Hillary was worried that Scooter might be cheating when, in fact, he was blackmailing Nicole into sex. Nope. Not just sex. Scooter loved watching Nicole's porn video (you know he owns the VHS). The porn she was -- it bears repeating -- forced into doing by her father when she was a teenager. So, Scooter wanted to recreate a night with underage Misty Circle because he loved watching her be sexually assaulted as a teen thanks to her father. Wow.
Being a schemer, Nicole managed to shake things up at the last minute. She easily convinced Brills Hills to dress up like a high school cheerleader to, you know, put the zing back into her marriage so her underage-porn-loving husband Scooter -- Scooter -- could get his, um, pompoms off. If Scooter himself didn't make me feel icky, that ending to Hillary's story arch made me livid and feel ashamed for those who wrote it. True story, I sincerely felt bad for Jennifer Landon. She deserved better. But, hey, Scooter got to live out his fantasy, sooooo, there's that.
Ultimately, I'm SUPER glad that with this storyline leading into Arianne Zucker's swan song as Nicole, the writers didn't dig into her past and reveal that Hillary's hubby was someone like Vargas or Xander, or a not-so-dead Colin Murphy, Trent Robbins, or Paul Mendez. You know. Someone shocking that would have made sense to Nicole's tenure. But, nope. We got Scooter. Guh-rate! It was a fun time had by no one, Higs. Way. To. Go.
That's it, DAYS fans! Another year is in the books! We hope you'll catch up with us below in the comment section or on Twitter to chat all about DAYS. Thank you all for being the best soap fans in the world! We're proud to be part of this DAYS-loving community!
Tony and Laurisa
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