I never pegged Henry Coleman for a runaway groom. Of course, I thought he'd have more sense than to marry a woman he's only known a few weeks, despite that she's beautiful, rich and sweet. Henry should have told Vienna that he didn't love her, before she was wearing white in front of his family and friends. Ditching the bride at the altar was cold. For that, he's in my doghouse.
However, he does get points for realizing that marrying a woman he didn't love would only hurt her in the end, a lesson he learned the hard way with Katie. I understand why he backed out, but I can't condone the way he did it. The signs were there all week that Henry and Vienna wouldn't live happily ever after. Sign number one: asking other people to your write your vows. Sign number two: getting arrested for gambling with the hope of not making bail for the ceremony. Sign number three: reciting verbatim your ex-wife's wedding vows from years ago.
When Henry recalled Katie's wedding vows to him word-for-word, I admit I got a little teary. I thought he'd moved on, but it's clear that Henry is still in love with the talk-show queen. Are the writers setting us up for a Katie/Henry/Vienna triangle? I never, ever would have thought so, but well, I'm just confused now. Henry and Katie have always had chemistry, but Katie made it clear that she loves him only as a friend. In contrast, Vienna apparently really does love the martini man. (I thought for a while that she was scamming him, but it's clear now that she isn't.) I think Henry could fall in love with Vienna. What's not to love? And, I'm glad the writers are slowing things down. The problem now is that Henry told Brad to go after Vienna and make her feel better. Careful what you wish for Henry, Brad Snyder is not the kind of fox you invite into the chicken coop.
Meanwhile:
--Is it wrong that I'm enjoying Jennifer Landon's wacky Cleo character more than her portrayal of Gwen these days? Ever since the Adam nonsense, Gwen has been talking in that strange, monotone, depressing voice and has turned into a real snoozefest. I miss feisty Gwen. In contrast, Cleo, with her Ugly Betty teeth and hilarious voice, is a barrel of fun.
--Actress Ewa De Cruz must be a favorite of the makeup department. Vienna's eye shadow creations are something of a work of art. Vienna's eye makeup on her wedding day was simply stunning. How Henry could walk away from that beauty is indeed a mystery.
--Jack kissed Katie Friday, after her emotional melt down with Vienna. Are we headed toward a Katie/Jack/Brad triangle? If Carly comes home to find Jack with Katie, it will be an explosive day in Oakdale.
--Casey and Maddie got caught with their pants down this week, literally. That was an excellent scene between Margo and the kids, after she caught them having sex. And it's about time Margo sent Maddie packing. Maddie should be living with her brother, not her boyfriend.
--Kudos to the writers and the prop department for World Wide's new moniker and sign for Montgomery Enterprises. I couldn't help but chuckle at the gigantic "ME" sign for Montgomery Enterprises. I expected nothing less than a "me" sign from the narcissistic Craig we love to hate. After all, this is the guy whose vanity plates read, "IRULE."
--Scott Bryce resumed the role of Craig this week, and one thing is clear. This guy knows how to play sinister, smirking, snarky Craig. I'm not sure I buy him as a ladies man, though. I'm withholding judgment until I see his scenes this week with Meg.
--The biggest understatement of the week goes to Will for this gem of a line, "Alison looks different." Priceless. (For you newbies, this Alison is a recast. So, she does look much different than old Alison.) Good one, Will.
--Speaking of Alison, I didn't watch her on "The Young and the Restless" crossover, so I feel like I'm a little out of the loop. So far, I don't much like Alison 2.0. She seems to lack the effervescence of the previous Alison. But, I am interested to find out what happened with her and Aaron and why she suddenly can't keep her blouse buttoned.
--Is anyone else confused by Alison and Emily's continuously changing hair lengths? The day Dusty cornered Alison, she was sporting long, curly hair and Emily was rocking her short, just-below-the-ear hairdo. Then on Friday, Alison had lost half of her long mane and was sporting a shoulder length coif, and Emily had somehow found Alison's extra inches and attached them as a long ponytail to her own head. Apparently, the Stewart gals like hair extensions the way Vienna likes eye makeup.
--Actress Tamara Tunie has left the show. The sad part is, if viewers didn't read soap Web sites or magazines, they wouldn't have known. Jessica simply disappeared. Maybe she's hanging out with John Dixon somewhere.
--Goodbye World Wide, hello Montgomery Enterprises. Craig facing off against Lucinda is a storyline I've been dreaming about for years. I had envisioned it with Hunt Block in the role of Craig, but I'm anxious to see if Scott Bryce can tap into the Craig/Lucinda history and make this story as compelling as I think it could be.
--Those were some great scenes this week between Lily and Faith. Finally, Faith apologized to her mother for being such a brat. And Lily finally may be realizing that her own body issues are contributing to Faith's bulimia.
--I find it strange that Gwen is more freaked out about her attempted rape than Maddie is about her actual rape. I guess Maddie has had longer to recover, but Margo is right. Maddie is still emotionally unstable, as evidenced by her whacking Adam in the head with a shovel. Maddie shouldn't be getting horizontal with Casey, or anyone, until she works out some issues.
--Nice use of history this week, when Dusty realized that Alison was hooked on crystal meth. He should know the signs, considering Jennifer was an addict. Of course, maybe it was the curly hair that tipped him off. Why is it when these ladies are on the meth, their hair suddenly goes curly?
--Brad Snyder has confused me. I can't decide if I love him or hate him. I do know that when he's on screen, I can't look away. He's strangely fascinating. His arrogance is irritating, yet comical. He's the guy who says what we're all thinking but would never say because we're politically correct. Help, Scoopers! I think I may actually enjoy this arrogant jerk. I couldn't help but chuckle this week when he tagged Katie "the party police." But, if doesn't stop calling my Henry a loser, I'm going to enter that contest to make him come to my house and do a chore. And believe me, I'll find something worse than cleaning out Emma's chicken coop.
--I need Vienna to hook me up with her fashion connections. She picked out her wedding dress from a magazine and had it delivered within a couple days. That's impressive. And so was that amazing gown. Have you ever seen such a gorgeous frock? Faith was right. Vienna did look like a supermodel.
--I wanted to hug Parker this week when he told Faith he wouldn't marry "supermodel" looking Vienna. Good for you Parker for resisting the images of perfect-looking women. Hopefully, Faith will hear you and realize that not even perfect-looking Vienna has a perfect life.
--By now you've probably heard that Casey is leaving the show. I guess he's actually going to prison. I have one thing to say: Casey, hire yourself a better lawyer. (I hear Cass Winthrop needs some work.) Paul, Emily, Dusty, Craig and a gaggle of other Oakdale residents have committed far worse crimes than Casey did, and they're roaming around town like nothing ever happened.
--Gwen and Will are idiots. Why would they not try to get back the trust-fund money they gave Iris? With Barbara on their side, they could out-con the con. Once Gwen pulls a few shifts as night clerk at the hotel, she may realize how stupid she and Will were to forget about that money.
--Did anyone else catch Vienna calling her family's wedding attire "costumes?" Was this a slip up on the actress' part or is that really the word Vienna uses for wedding clothes?
--Henry fans, it feels like Christmas doesn't it? We haven't had so much Henry screen time with relevant material since his romance with Katie. Forget the Jack/Katie/Brad/Carly quad that we're probably going to get. The real story here could be a Henry/Katie/Vienna triangle.
--Finally, I wanted to mention to you a new book that soap fans should not miss: "You Know Your Life is a Soap Opera If..." I just finished my screener copy, and it's a hoot. The book is a comical look at soap operas and the storylines that define them. It includes such helpful information as career options for ex-hookers to the best targets for blackmail. It also gives good grooming tips such as, "A coma is no excuse for bad hair and makeup." Author Gerry Waggett, a longtime soap fan, has done his homework. He touches on all the beloved soap clichés with a tongue-in-cheek approach that leaves the reader howling. He even offers fertility advice: "Although obstetricians rarely recommend infidelity as a treatment for infertility, a one-night stand with an unsuitable partner (like your husband's black sheep brother) will significantly increase your odds of conception." I laughed the entire way through this fun little read. Fans of The Young and the Restless will recognize the disheveled girl on the cover as Sharon Case. (Although, Sharon would never be caught dead with her lipstick smeared the way it is in that photo.) The book is in stores now, or visit www.hyperionbooks.com for more information.
Best Lines of the Week:
(Henry explains to Maddie that writing his own wedding vows is more difficult than he thought.)
"There's a reason that people use the ones that are already in print. Everything I write needs to be followed by a shot of insulin."
(Craig boasts to Lucinda that he stole her company and ruined her.)
Lucinda: "Craig, Craig, I've battled cancer. You're nothing. You're just a gnat in my soup."
(Brad finds Henry, the runaway groom, and tries to call Jack and Katie, but Henry grabs the phone.)
Henry: "Not until you hear me explain."
Brad: "Do I look like Dr. Phil to you?"
Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops Shelly.)
"Scott Bryce and Elizabeth Hubbard are phenomenal together...can't wait for the two of them fighting for worldwide!"
(From Two Scoops Kenan.)
"I wanted to reiterate how awesome an actress Elizabeth Hubbard is. I am a younger viewer but would much rather watch any scene with Lucinda then a scene with the college kids. She is incredible - looking forward to more Lucinda, Dusty, Craig (and hopefully some Barbara) interaction."
(From Two Scoops Lisa.)
"Hi Jennifer. As Paul pointed out, he drives a Porsche. I was curious before, but now I really want to know. Where was baby Ethan riding when Paul was driving around with him after his vision? Where does Paul keep the car seat? I have my own vision: Paul holding baby Ethan with his left arm and steering with it and shifting with his right. Ahhh, the world of a soap opera!"
(From Two Scoops Vivien.)
"What did Gwen ever do to Jade to deserve such hatred? When Jade first came to town, Gwen was the only person to treat her with respect; she invited her into her life and her home and befriended her when nobody else would. From that moment on, it seems that Jade's life's mission has been to destroy Gwen. She went after her husband, lied about being pregnant, took up Adam's madness even after she witnessed Adam trying to rape Gwen...and now this ridiculous look-alike story. Jade found the home she was looking for, a family, money, and a cushy life. What is this obsession she has with Gwen? Someone tell me, because I just can't figure out it. And if there's nothing, then maybe someone should tell the writers, because this one-note plot is really beginning to wear on my nerves."
(From Two Scoops Marie.)
"Great column this week! Loved the April Fools' slant. Too bad it's not true. I think Adam said something about "coming off a bad relationship" in LA. And this turned him into a would-be felon? I don't want to go to LA any time soon. Also, laughed out loud at your future occupations for the Snyder brood. But you left out Ethan! What's left for him? Printing up counterfeit money in Emma's hayloft?"
That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller
